we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
