dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize