when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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