What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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