no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
