I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
