She's JV to your varsity
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
