Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
