If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
