Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
