last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
