I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize