K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
