I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize