i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
