$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I forget how to act sober
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize