Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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