Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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