sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize