So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
