apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
