Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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