We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
