one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
