and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
40s are totally the cure
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
