I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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