is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
