You're so nebulous sometimes
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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