Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Drake has all the answers
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
