There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
