And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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