I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
