You can't motorboat a personality
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
