I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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