They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
