What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
