I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
