Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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