I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
