Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
