I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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