Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
