Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
