He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
