In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
