I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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