is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
