you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
