Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
