Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
