Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
