there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My ass is underappreciated
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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