omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
