You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize