Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
