That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
