He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
