i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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