I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
True strength comes from lack of pants
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
