the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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