It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Found the puke drawer
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
