Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
