He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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