My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
