I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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