It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
