Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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