why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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