She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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