My nipple is on Facebook.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
