For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
